The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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