that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
