This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Everyone says I win the strip club
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
