Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
