if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
