I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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