I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Randomize
