youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
