arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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