The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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