He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
