You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just cut my nipple shaving
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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