Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
