And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
