You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
