THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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