Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
