Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
