did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
