I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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