actually, I'm a sock model
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
