Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
