How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
