when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
