I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
