..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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