I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
