When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
we're so committed to being not committed
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
