rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
As shirtless as possible
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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