I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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