There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
