I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
