I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
