Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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