He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
