real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
two words: eviction party
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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