How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
