I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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