Small penises have feelings too.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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