spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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