Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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