Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
