someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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