Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
