I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
a search helicopter?!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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