Already got asked if we're dating
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I am mentally ready for anal.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
