First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
