Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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