Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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