You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
