Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
