I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
The beer is more important than you right now.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
