I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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