Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
