I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
